Adam and I met in November of 2014 and we started dating April of 2015. Adam works as an Automotive Technology Instructional Assistant, and the Lord has called him to attend a Holy Ghost filled Bible College. I am studying Web Technologies and I work for Wells Fargo.
I remember praying to God one night and asking Him to bring the man He has for me into my life in His timing. A month later, I had the same dream several nights in a row that I created a Christian Mingle account. If you knew me, you knew that I would make fun of dating sites. The night that I prayed for God to bring the one He has for me, I had the same dream about making a Christian Mingle account. I thought it was God speaking to me so I made a Christian Mingle account. After I created my account and filled in information about myself, I logged off and never got back on again. Several days later, this guy Adam sends me a friend request on Facebook. I accept his friend request and he later on sends me a message.
At the time Adam messaged me on Facebook, he was looking for someone, and I wanted a serious relationship but I wasn’t intentionally looking for anyone. I’m not telling you to go make a Christian Mingle account but just be open to what God has for you. Don’t miss out on a blessing just because it’s not packaged the way you want.
On our first date, Adam had a chance to say two words, hi and bye. Yes, I talked a lot. I did not know this at the time, but Adam told me that he found me on Christian Mingle and that’s how he found me on Facebook. We went to Cheddar’s and then we went bowling afterwards. After our first date, I remember thinking this guy is special and I wanted to continue hanging out with him.
Fast forward six months, Adam asks me to be his girlfriend on April 8th, 2015. When I said yes to being his girlfriend, I didn’t know how to love someone else because I didn’t know then how to love at all. I grew up in a household that didn’t have any love. My mom would cuss, hit, and take her pain out on me. I was her punching bag but she told me that she loved me. From then on, I got a distorted image of what love was. I took out my hurt and pain on Adam. I made Adam my punching bag for most of our relationship.
Earlier this year, I took medication for depression and my anxiety attacks got really bad so I went to the doctor and the doctor upgraded my dosage. I didn’t tell anyone because I was embarrassed. I mean, I already felt like I had so much wrong with me. My body physically didn’t handle the higher dosage of medication well. It caused major conflict with Adam and his family because I didn’t tell them I was on medication and I passed out in front of them. It was very scary, and Adam was done with me at this point. I’ve been healed from depression and I don’t take any prescribed medication. Thank you Jesus.
At this point, Adam is not wanting to continue this relationship. I understood, and I knew Adam didn’t deserve to be with a hurt filled wretch like me. Adam wanted a week to hear from God to know what to do. The week has passed, and we decided to partake in Christian counseling. Even though I wanted to be with Adam, I knew that he didn’t deserve to be with someone like me.
I remember crying out to God like I had never done before. I was tired of hurting and hurting people. I knew that if I truly had Jesus in my life, I wouldn’t be doing the things I was doing. I asked the Lord to come into my life and transform me completely. One day, I told God that I was going to break up with Adam and that I wanted Him to heal me completely everywhere I hurt before I got into any kind of relationship. I was driving to Adams parents’ house to break up with Adam, and God spoke to me so clearly and said, “Tatiana, turn around. You are with who I want you to be with.” I pulled my car over to the side of the road and bawled my eyes out. I began questioning God saying, “Look at how broken I am. Look at all the hurt I’ve caused. Why is Adam the one You want me to be with?” He replied, “Give Me your hurt and everything you have. I restore. I redeem. I’ve restored this relationship.” I gave God everything I had. I put my full trust in Him.
We got involved in Christian counseling. (Shout out to Mr. Lowe) It helped so much. I saw Adam in a different light. I was able to listen better to Adam and understand him better than I had before. Once I gave God the hurt I had caused in the relationship, He began to cleanse me of pain and guilt. The restoration in our relationship has been a process but evident. Now I know how to love like 1 Corinthians 13. I know how to love Adam because I’ve experienced God’s love. Prayer is powerful. We communicate better than ever before and we trust one another completely. We love each other with a 1 Corinthians 13 kind of love. God can restore a relationship better than it was before.
I’ve learned that while we have similarities, we also have differences. For example, I receive love best through words of affirmation, where as Adam receives love best through quality time. I could write him sweet letters all day long (which I know he would appreciate), but since he has communicated to me that he receives love better through quality time, why wouldn’t I spend my time with him instead of writing sweet words? There have been times when I would get so upset with him for not doing something, causing me to completely miss the other ways in which he is serving and loving me well. It’s comical to think back to all of the silly things I have spent so much of my time being upset about. Men and Women, we are different. The way we understand and learn is different.
Click here to discover your love language.